Forever alone

"I'm suppose to be in a relationship,yet I feel so lonely.."

Yes,that is how I feel right now,very alone.We are suppose to be together but feels like I'm in a relationship with myself...Those feelings of excitment and those butterfly feelings in the stomach..All I have,but then I think about how we are and nothing has changed from when we were friends..

I was so happy when we finally got together,though this is only a month trail..I feel very pleased and thankful that we are at least trying it out..A year I've wanted him..
[I think its a year...]

Last night I was thinking about him,like I normally do..Feelings I've missed so much,then the thought of doubt came to mind..

"I know I'm not the one he wants.."

But yet I feel like I'm addicted to him..His smile,his voice..His presence...I wish to be surrounded by him and only him all the time..These feelings of wanting him more and more I cannot help but serenade myself in..Yet I feel all alone..I cry myself to sleep,thinking of him and only him..

What does he feel for me?

I do not know..He doesn't say or show..I feel like I am not appericated like I should be..I don't feel like he likes me or misses me..I feel like a doll being played with then getting thrown away..

Why do I always feel like this when in a relationship with someone?

I want to be open with him but yet I am so scared..Scared to hurt him,to chase him away..I want to keep him forever in my heart...

"I wash my memories away tonight"

Tears shower my face,like the rain..Broken is how I feel,nothing is done..

Beautiful poetry fills my mind when thinking of him,a smile invades my face yet I feel so alone.

We must talk..But how?When?I am so scared..

Someone save me...

I feel as though I need him,to live,to breathe...

when I do not talk to him for only a day I feel so gloomy and dull..Like something is missing..Like the sun as gone..For he is my sun on a dull day..The sweet melody that plays in my mind every day..

I wish to embrace him but I am so scared..Scared that I have fallen so deep in just one week..I can feel he does not feel the same way..

But what can I do?